✦I Refuse to sink✦

I'm Courtney. I live in upstate New York. I love my Nicholas. I love Bring Me The Horizon, more than the normal person loves anything. I do crossfit, soccer, lax and eat.
& Kendra is the best person ever c:
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my self esteem has two levels

  1. im a worthless piece of shit who deserves no love
  2. bow down before bitches i am your queen

“It’s not that people can’t love you if you don’t love yourself. It’s that you won’t feel it because it’ll always seem like you don’t deserve it.”

But It’s Not a Matter of Deserving (#53: January 11, 2014)

I’m really sick of stereo types.
Like no just because I a girl and I lift does not mean I’m a body builder. No I will not rip you to shreds, no I don’t take steroids, no I will not beat the shit out of you. And no I’m not scary.
You know what’s scary?
That fact that society today has be come so brain washed that any woman above a size two who doesn’t look anorexic is weird and quiet often shamed.
Well I’m here to tell you that I am not weird. I will not be shamed.
My name is Courtney I am 5’4” 160 pounds and I am a proud #crossfitter.


adventures in school



I’m pretty sure this has been on my blog like 12 different times but I will never not reblog this

I absolutely love this

“I desire the things that will destroy me in the end”

Sylvia Plath, taken from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (via quot-e-idienne)

1. Are her lips like the hot chocolate your mother made
During the winter months when you were seven? Or have you not tasted her well enough to find the fine granules of cocoa that lightly come with each kiss?

2. Do you know her favorite songs? Not when she is happy, but when she is sad. What music reaches inside her ribcage and softly consoles her heart?

3. When she is sad, are you on the phone or are you at her door? Words do not wipe away tears, fingers do.

4. Do you know all the things that keep her up at night? Do you know why she has gone three days without sleep? Do you know of the insurmountable waves of sadness that wash over her like a tsunami?

5. Do you know the things to say that will calm her heartbeat? The places to touch? The places to love?

6. Everytime you see her do you kiss her like it’s the last time but love her like it’s the first?

7. Do you love her?

8. Do you love her?

"Things I Want To Ask Your Boyfriend" - Nishat Ahmed  (via mushroomfaeries)


most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later

“It’s so beautiful to kiss
who actually
means a lot to you.”

Alena M. (via perfect)

Seriously though… This is so comforting.

Seriously though… This is so comforting.


i could watch this a thousand times and still want to watch it a thousand more


i could watch this a thousand times and still want to watch it a thousand more


angry and quite offended that you don’t have a crush on me